Monday, September 22, 2014

Transformation



My life is different, now.
It revolves around car repairs and bills
instead of chases and thrills.
I write, instead of poems, lists.
Life is planned now.
It doesnt just happen.

Sometimes I miss my freedom.
I was so sure of my identity, then.
Even if it was mostly a fantasy
of my own making.
Now, it's too rooted in reality.
Mirrored reflections grow unkind.

Yet, I am not blind to the past.
I remember pathos, loneliness, yearning.
Looking for a place to be me,
a woman to share with,
a life of fulfillment.
This I don't miss.

For I have that, now.
No longer lonely, I'm loved.
No longer empty, fulfilled.
No longer Knight Errant,
I am...
Lord of the Manor?

Mutual Paradox© Cammie S. Sinor, 2014

DIANA

I have chased her across many lifetimes. I don't remember when or how, in which lifetime I finally realized this. It was a gradual awareness. At first, I would simply recognize her on first meeting; recognize her from some place deeper than my mind. My gut would cry out to me that this was the one. I would tighten up, preparing for the chase, the hunt, the eventual capture. This time, it will happen, I'd think.

IN SIGHT


If I could give you just one gift,
I'd show you the monsters under the bed
are not near as terrifying
as the ones in your mind.

I'd free your heart to love,
take down the walls that lock you in.
Show you how much you're hurting you,
and how much that hurts me.

If I could give you just one gift.
I would give you the gift of confidence...
in yourself, in your strength,
and in your ideas.

I'd give you clarity and sight,
an end to your confused run.
The perserverence to follow
a dream to it's end.

But all I can give you 
is my own love and support,
clear and true. 
Is it enough

Just keeping you in sight?

Mutual Paradox© Cammie S. Sinor, 2014

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